As mothers we watch our children grow and change. We ohh and ahhh over every tiny little change and progression. The loss of teeth are posted of Facebook with gap toothed grin photos as all our friends post about how big our kids are getting. Every birthday comes and goes as a mother silently (or sometimes more loudly) sniffles about the years that have gone by. For me watching the progression of my kids learning their letters, to struggling with letter sounds, to reading, and now chapter books was amazing. I am confounded by it. I took a photo of Punk in her *very messy* room with big headphones on reading a chapter book and realized how much like me she was. And I was proud.
Rarely do we ever stop to look at our own progression. Today I had that moment. Several years ago, I was sitting on the floor sorting Christmas decorations. Goalie was sitting across the room. I stood up and my knee buckled under me with a horrible smushing noise. Goalie heard it across the room above the noise of the TV. I crumpled to the floor. Several trips to the doctor told me that I would need surgery. But since Goalie lived 2 hours away at the time, Nana was not in a position to help, I had 2 young kids who where not self sufficient at all and I had a job that would not give me the time off, surgery was NOT an option for me at that time. So I lived in a brace for a while. Then for several years I just dealt with the pain. I did as much as I could. I pushed thru. It hurt, but it was my only option. I managed to do Rockin Mad 5 mile… I nearly died, I came in DFL, seriously.. but I was not going to let my knee stop me. Life continued and so would I.
Finally I got the chance to have the surgery I needed. It was called a lateral release. I was warned that when most people have “knee surgery” it is for a meniscus tear and that heals much easier than what I had, so don’t listen to those people when they say recovery is fast. My recovery would be long. I had no idea how long. I started last spring. I had MONTHS of rehab. I still have massive swelling after standing or walking for a long time. I still get very sore. I still have to ice a lot. Worst of all, I can’t wear awesome heels. I miss my 5″ heels like you would not believe. At 5’10” to start I always felt amazing in a pair of awesome heels.
Recently I have gone back to the gym. I have been walking on the treadmill. I started out at 2.5 speed and 1 incline and no running for 20 min. I would be lucky to hit 150 calories. Then today THIS happened. I saw progression in myself for once…. and I am proud. I am on the couch with ice, but I am proud!