Progress

As mothers we watch our children grow and change. We ohh and ahhh over every tiny little change and progression. The loss of teeth are posted of Facebook with gap toothed grin photos as all our friends post about how big our kids are getting. Every birthday comes and goes as a mother silently (or sometimes more loudly) sniffles about the years that have gone by. For me watching the progression of my kids learning their letters, to struggling with letter sounds, to reading, and now chapter books was amazing. I am confounded by it. I took a photo of Punk in her *very messy* room with big headphones on reading a chapter book and realized how much like me she was. And I was proud.

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Rarely do we ever stop to look at our own progression. Today I had that moment. Several years ago, I was sitting on the floor sorting Christmas decorations. Goalie was sitting across the room. I stood up and my knee buckled under me with a horrible smushing noise. Goalie heard it across the room above the noise of the TV. I crumpled to the floor. Several trips to the doctor told me that I would need surgery. But since Goalie lived 2 hours away at the time, Nana was not in a position to help, I had 2 young kids who where not self sufficient at all and I had a job that would not give me the time off, surgery was NOT an option for me at that time. So I lived in a brace for a while. Then for several years I just dealt with the pain. I did as much as I could. I pushed thru. It hurt, but it was my only option. I managed to do Rockin Mad 5 mile… I nearly died, I came in DFL, seriously.. but I was not going to let my knee stop me. Life continued and so would I.

Finally I got the chance to have the surgery I needed. It was called a lateral release. I was warned that when most people have “knee surgery” it is for a meniscus tear and that heals much easier than what I had, so don’t listen to those people when they say recovery is fast. My recovery would be long. I had no idea how long. I started last spring. I had MONTHS of rehab. I still have massive swelling after standing or walking for a long time. I still get very sore. I still have to ice a lot. Worst of all, I can’t wear awesome heels. I miss my 5″ heels like you would not believe. At 5’10” to start I always felt amazing in a pair of awesome heels.

Recently I have gone back to the gym. I have been walking on the treadmill. I started out at 2.5 speed and 1 incline and no running for 20 min. I would be lucky to hit 150 calories. Then today THIS happened. I saw progression in myself for once…. and I am proud. I am on the couch with ice, but I am proud!

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My Wishes for them

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Since I am divorced, I only get the joy of ringing in the new year with Punk and Bear every other year. Last year we went into Boston for the parade and fireworks with friends for some chilly wholesome fun. I loved it. This year it was just Goalie and I. So adult fun it was… Off to the House of Blues to see the Amazing Royal Crowns and Mighty Mighty Bosstones in the Hometown Throwdown. It was something I started going to way back in High School. In 1997/1998 I saw them at the Worcester Centrum with Bim Skala Bim, Dropkick Murphy’s, Letters To Cleo and the Bosstones. This year the Amazing Royal Crowns were back with the Bosstones. It was a dream The only thing missing was the old venue, dirty, dingy, stale beer smelling basement of the Middle East. But I understand and appreciate WHY the venue was moved. For once, there was no scrounging for tickets. I didn’t have to sit by my computer and pray that I got two, because scalpers would scoop them up and resell them for 10x the value. (and yes, I generally had a team of people doing the same thing. We always got tickets one way or another). But it shouldn’t be that way, and I can appreciate the dedication to the fans, and the band not wanting that to happen, so a much bigger venue was a good answer and the House of Blues did a great job.

One ¬†of my traditional requirements for a Bosstones show, no matter how old I get or how bad my knee is (one year it was REALLY bad), is that I MUST be in the front row. Goalie knows this and respects it. In the last break when everyone runs for the bar, we run for the stage. We get crushed, mushed, smushed, beer spilled all over us. It doesn’t matter, it is all part of the experience to be that close to see Ben Carr dance and Dickey Barrett sing.

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So as I am being slammed around, blissfully happy I realize something, a wish for my children. I wish for them to be this happy, no matter what it may be. Whether it is seeing a band, or a sports team, playing a game or falling in love. I also wish for them to have my support like my mother supported me in music. She was never a fan of ska. But she never questioned it. When I said I was going to a show, no matter what it was, she just said, “Have fun and be safe.” I know she worried. But she pretended to be happy for me. When I came home all excited, I would wake her up to let her know I was home and safe and tell her a quick run down of the night, even though I am sure she just wanted to go back to sleep because I could surely tell her in the morning. But she listened every time, even if she had to work early the next morning. She never complained when I called really late to play her that one song she might know over the phone, even though she couldn’t tell what it was because it was too loud and vibrating so bad.

This year my Mom asked my what I wanted for Christmas. There wasn’t much on my list. I wanted family time. I have to share my time, so I like to make the most of what I have. I like to hear the giggles, the belly laughs. So this year, she got us season passes to a local indoor water park. My wish for us as a family this year, is memories. I am going to work really hard to make sure everyone is happy and we have an epic year.

PS…. have I mentioned that I can finally say that we are getting married THIS YEAR!?!??!

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